BAD BAD BAD

I have not posted daily for a week and that is because I have not done well at all - I am in that 3rd week syndrome that I fall in to everytime. I start to feel that I am happy with the way I am, I love my life as it is and giving up all that I love is not worth it. I then try on clothes and feel and looks so darn fat! I am sure you know how I feel and how hard it is.
I am going to Melbourne on Monday for 3 days, going to go and just enjoy myself and get back on track when I get home.

THURSDAY 23RD JULY 2009

Despite my bad day yesterday my weight was back down and now at a 1.5kg loss but my stomach was a bit more bloated, that is the alcohol! I had bacon and 1 egg for breakfast today, morning went by so fast at work I did not have a mid morning snack, oh yes I did, Sally bought Mars Bar cookies and I had ONE! For lunch I had prawns and mid afternoon I had some more prawns. For dinner I had Salsa chicken with spinach and a very very small portion of rice.

WEDNESDAY 22ND JULY 2009

I had bacon and eggs for brekkie, but this is allowed! Keeps me feeling fuller longer too.
I missed mid morning, but again I was bad and had another of those damn chocolates! For lunch I had a vanilla shake, nothing in the afternoon, it is so much harder when I am at home than when I am at work! For dinner we had rissoles, vegies and a bit of mash. I also drank too much wine tonight, maybe today should have been my day off diet day!

TUESDAY 21ST JULY 2009

WARNING do NOT weigh daily as disappointment may prevail! I did this morning and my weight was up! BUT I will not let that sway me.
Breakfast this morning was a Shake. Morning tea I had some fresh prawns. Lunch I had another shake and mid afternoon some more prawns. Dinner I had Silverside, Cauli cheese, broccolini and I snuck in some mash.
Ugggh Kirsty came home with chocolates for a fundraiser, I had to have just one, I had a Caramello Koala and boy it was good!

MONDAY 20TH JULY 2009

Well it has been one week since I first weighed in and I have lost 1.2kg and 8cm from around my waist! I bought new work pants two weeks ago and they do not stay up anymore! I had to put a safety pin in them today to keep them up!
So even if some times you do slip up as long as you get right back on you still can get results!
Just finished my Chocolate shake for breakfast. By the time I got to work I was bloody starving! I tried lots of water, had a cup of tea but it was really griping at me so I bought a beef sausage and that satisfied me. By lunch time again starving so bought some vegies to put with my soup and that filled me up. Late afternoon I had an apple. For dinner I had a stirfry chicken and vegies.

SUNDAY 19TH JULY

I AM SLIPPING AGAIN!
Why do I do it? I had toast for breakfast! I just really really wanted it!
I will try my best to keep on track for the remainder of the day.
Brian suggest we go for a walk along the river this afternoon, I do need to get my butt moving!
Tomorrow I will measure my waist and do another weigh in.
Well doesn't look like a walk today as it keeps raining.
For a snack or was it lunch? I had 2 soft boiled eggs.
I had a slice of ham with my usual spread on it as a snack.
For dinner we had Missippi Chicken from the butcher, with mash cauli and vegies.
But................................................................................................................
I have been drinking tonight

SATURDAY 18TH JULY 2009

This photo is another reminder why I need to lose weight. I really hate this photo!

2 MONTHS TILL MY 40TH BIRTHDAY! How much weight can I lose between now and then?

Today another sleep in to about 10.30 this time. For Breakfast I had a cup of tea and a meal replacement berry bar, it was OK, took me ages to eat it and did fill me up. I was busy cleaning today and for lunch I had a pumpkin soup. In the afternoon I had a slice of ham with philly cheese and mustard pickle. Dinner was a roast chicken honey and macadamia roll and I also had some roast potatoes! I have broken a few rules and had some potato chips and more wine. Sunday I must be good! I did weigh this morning and I was down another 100g, so that is 1.1kg.

Friday 17th July 2009

Well it is Friday, finally a day off from work and I stayed in bed till nearly 12 o'clock!
Boy did I need that sleep though.
My first bad day, I had some toast! But that is OK, I will get back on track for the rest of the day.
As I got up so late meals were all out of whack.
For lunch I had pumpkin soup.
For dinner I had Italian ribeye steak and vegies, I did sneak a little sweet potato in too.
I did also have 2 glasses of wine -

Thursday 16th July 2009

Day 3

I felt really sick today, I have had a throat viral thing for a week and a half, I saw the DR yesterday and he prescribed antibitiocs.

Breakfast was again a shake.
Morning tea I had 2 slices of leg ham with a thin spread of philly cheese and mustard pickles, rolled up and sliced in to bite size pieces, really yummy!

For lunch I had left over cottage pie.

I think I skipped an afternoon snack, I can't remember now!

For dinner we had Chicken Salsa, just chicken cooked with a jar of salsa sauce and sour cream mixed through. I also made mushrooms filled with ricotta and herbs, another TF recipe and some vegies. Was quite nice.

Oh and I weighed this morning, and I am down one kilo already!

Wednesday 15th July

This is my friend Iliana, we met online about 12 yrs ago!
Iliana is who also inspired me to get back on the wagon and lose weight when her and her hubby also decided to change their lifestyle and lose weight.
www.meltingthefattogether.blogspot.com
Love you Ily, we can do this! When we finally meet we will be super sexy!


Day 2 - this morning I had a chocolate shake for brekky, warmed up again.
For morning tea I had fresh prawns, I do love them!
For lunch I had the left over cottage pie, yummy!
For afternoon I had the prawns again.

For dinner I had salmon with a mustard marinade along with vegies.
I had a small amount of wine with my meal and did not finish the glass so I did well!

Tuesday 14th July 2009

This is me at 17yrs old!
Oh to be that thin again!


This is my first full day on the program.
For breakfast I had a Cafe Latte shake heated up, went down really nice.
For morning snack I had about 150g of fresh prawns.
For Lunch I had Chicken soup, yum! I have not been well for over a week and the soup was lovely on my sore throat.
For afternoon I had more fresh prawns.
Dinner we had Cottage pie from the TF cookbook, I bought a small casserole dish to cook mine in as I was having cauliflower mashed with cream cheese as my topping and the rest of the family had theirs with mash. It was really yummy! I had enough to put in a small ramekin for lunch the next day.
No Alcohol today :)

Monday 13th July 2009

Today I decided I was going to make an effort to stick with something for at least 3 weeks (2 weeks is normally my limit!) I leave for a work conference to Melbourne in 3 weeks and this was my motivation to kick start my weight loss.

I went to Terry White Chemist and got back on the program, I last tried it about 2 yrs ago.
Basically I will have a meal replacement shake for breakfast, a small protein snack for morning tea (TF recommends a piece of fruit) I believe the protein is a better snack option. Lunch is another shake or a meal replacement soup, afternoon is another protein snack and dinner is a normal meal of just protein and vegetables.

My biggest demon is ALCOHOL, I love to drink and this have been my biggest contribution to my weight gain.

One day a week, on the weekend I am giving myself a day OFF, I can have 3 normal meals if I like, treat myself to a few carbs if needed and also have a drink, the next day it is back on the program. I believe by having a day off is what will keep me going, the damage from one day is nothing compared to quitting altogether or having a really bad binge.

According to my scales I am 107.5kg, according to TF scales I am 110.5 (I will go by mine!) they also measured my waist and it is 113cm ouch.

Today I bought a mixture of shakes, soups, replacement meal bar, and a cookbook.
They have lots of nice flavours and my favourite on a cold morning heated up is Caffe Latte. They also have Chocolate, English toffee, Vanilla, Strawberries & Cream and lots more to choose from. Soups they only have 3 flavours and I chose the Chicken and the Pumpkin.

If you want to know more about Tony Ferguson their website is http://www.tonyferguson.com/

19 years ago this October Brian and I were married, I was 22 yrs old and weighed only 58 kilos, underweight for my height of 5 ft 7, but back then I was able to eat what I liked, when I liked and I could never gain weight.




6 weeks before our 1st anniversary and 4 weeks before I turned 23 our first baby Amy Louise was born. I gained a bit of weight during the pregnancy and every one told me it will just drop off me, but sadly it didn't. From memory I think I weighed close to 80kgs







Before falling pregnant with our second child I went on a diet and got down to about 72 kgs.
Again after giving birth to Kirsty Brianna I had gained a lot of weight and now had more to try and lose, I did not seem to gain weight but I just found it hard to lose it again.



2 1/2 years after Kirsty, Sarah Kaitlyn was born, sadly though she did not come home with us as she passed away just 2hrs after birth from a heart problem. I had gained quiet a bit of weight thru the pregnancy and remember my last weigh in at about 98kgs.
Through grief and stress I lost about 10kgs after Sarah's birth and within 2 months I was pregnant again expecting our 4th child, Lachlan.







2 pregnancies in a row, 18 months of pregnancies took it's toll of my body and when Lachlan was born I again was close to 100kgs. I did manage to yoyo up and down and sat around the 90kg mark, this is still 15-20kgs heavier than I should be with an ideal weight of 70-75kgs.





So here we are, Mum and I on Mother's day 2009, I weigh a whopping 107kgs and I hate how I look in this picture.
I have tried so many different diets, I do NOT have any will power to stick with something more than 2 weeks! I have followed Tony Ferguson (back then I was 95kgs) I have read and followed Peter Gabriel (all about turning the fat switch off) then 105kgs.




So this is me today, I now weigh 107.5kgs, take a size 20 clothes and I cannot get myself any heavier! I have turned back to Tony Ferguson weight loss and have adapted to suit me, incorporating a few different diets in to one that will hopefully help me to stick with it this time.

Update March 2010 - well I didn't stick with it! So here I go again, different eating plan, and hopefully one that I can stick to. I wish I could take a pill for motivation, as I so lack it!

Update May 2011 - Yet again I failed!  As of May 16th 2011 I have re-started Bodytrim and so far so good, 2 months in and I am almost 10kgs down!









This is my DOWN SIZE ME journey, I hope that keeping accountable 'live & sweaty' I can keep a commitment and finally get myself down to a healthy weight.